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| Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~ Grantland Rice |
| Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~ John Updike |
| It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf. ~ Robert Lynd |
| Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. ~ A.A. Milne |
| Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. ~ P.G. Wodehouse, |
| I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser. ~ Arnold Palmer |
| Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears. ~ Bobby Jones |
| I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right. ~ Ben Crenshaw |
| Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. ~ Arthur Daley |
| Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it. ~ Ted Ray, |
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| The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. ~ Michael Green, |
| If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. ~ Paul Gallico |
| Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it’s wrong but you can’t keep away from her. ~ Val Doonican |
| Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. ~ Author Unknown |
| It’s easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister’s fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. ~ Bruce McCall |
| Forget your opponents; always play against par. ~ Sam Snead |
| If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~ Horace G. Hutchinson |
| They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~ Gardner Dickinson |
| I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. ~ Will Rogers |
| If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death. ~ Sam Snead |
| Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~ William Wordsworth |
| What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive. ~ Arnold Palmer |
| The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. ~ Phyllis Diller |
| Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it’s called the PGA Tour. ~ Author uncertain |
| A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood. ~ Author Unknown |
| Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. ~ P.J. O’Rourke |
| The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. ~ Author Unknown |
| If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. ~ Dean Martin |
| Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent’s. ~ Grantland Rice |
| Golf is a good walk spoiled. ~ Mark Twain |