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| Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~ Jim Davis |
| Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity. ~ Voltaire |
| There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye. ~ Author Unknown |
| We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking. ~ Steve Elbert |
| High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us? ~ Annita Manning |
| Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. ~ Garrison Keillor |
| Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? ~ Author Unknown |
| Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it. ~ Author Unknown |
| I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning. ~ John Barrymore |
| Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people. ~ Elizabeth Berry |
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| No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. ~ Channing Pollock |
| Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! ~ Tommy Smothers |
| Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. ~ Author Unknown |
| It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat. ~ Robert Fuoss |
| As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. ~ Buddy Hackett |
| Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray. ~ Author Unknown |
| Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. ~ Ambrose Bierce |
| One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. ~ Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, |
| After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps. ~ Miss Piggy |
| The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis. ~ Beatrice & Ira Freeman |
| You can say this for ready-mixes – the next generation isn’t going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. ~ Earl Wilson |
| The belly rules the mind. ~ Spanish Proverb |
| My favorite animal is steak. ~ Fran Lebowitz |
| When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste. ~ Laiko Bahrs |
| We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy. ~ William Osler |
| If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate. ~ Diogenes the Cynic |
| The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. ~ G.K. Chesterton |
| All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. ~ John Gunther |
| Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. ~ Josh Billings |
| Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~ Fran Lebowitz |