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| Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ~ Doug Larson |
| If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That’ll do them in. ~ Author Unknown |
| The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. ~ Author Unknown |
| Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry. ~ Author Unknown |
| To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. ~ Farmer’s Almanac |
| Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. ~ Clifford Stoll |
| User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." ~ Dave Barry |
| Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. ~ Edsger W. Dijkstra |
| Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. ~ Joseph Campbell |
| Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. ~ Nicholas Negroponte |
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
~ David Dixon |
| Computers, huh? I’ve heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes…. I don’t know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys. ~ From the television show |
| After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy. ~ John Pierce |
| Hardware: where the people in your company’s software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company’s hardware section will tell you the problem is. ~ Dave Barry, |
| But they are useless. They can only give you answers. ~ Pablo Picasso |
| Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. ~ Author Unknown |
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
~ Suzie Wagner |
| As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It’s just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws. ~ Scott Adams ("Dogbert") |
| If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it’s done. ~ Scott Adams |
| Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes. ~ Dave Barry, |
| A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. ~ Mitch Ratcliffe |
| Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? ~ Author Unknown |
| Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done. ~ Andy Rooney |
| Don’t anthropomorphize computers – they hate it. ~ Author Unknown |
| Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. ~ Jeff Pesis |
| I haven’t lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere. ~ Author Unknown |
| I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. ~ Author Unknown |
| Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working. ~ Dave Barry, |
| Don’t explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. ~ Robert A. Heinlein |
| If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. ~ One of Murphy’s Laws of Technology |