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| It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. ~ Elinor Goulding Smith |
| A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase. ~ Author Unknown |
| Babies are always more trouble than you thought – and more wonderful. ~ Charles Osgood |
| Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. ~ Ed Howe |
| People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. ~ Leo J. Burke |
| Babies are such a nice way to start people. ~ Don Herrold |
| Every baby needs a lap. ~ Henry Robin |
| Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don’t know why parents don’t do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you’re a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won’t have his friends hanging around your house all the time. ~ P.J. O’Rourke |
| When babies look beyond you and giggle, maybe they’re seeing angels. ~ Quoted in |
| Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. ~ Mark Twain, |
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| A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race. ~ Barbara Christine Seifert |
| One of the most obvious results of having a baby around the house is to turn two good people into complete idiots who probably wouldn’t have been much worse than mere imbeciles without it. ~ Georges Courteline, |
…a little child, born yesterday,
A thing on mother’s milk and kisses fed…
~ "Hymn to Mercury" (one of the Homeric Hymns) |
| God’s interest in the human race is nowhere better evinced than in obstetrics. ~ Martin H. Fischer |
| A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on. ~ Carl Sandburg |
| If you were to open up a baby’s head – and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should – you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. ~ Dave Barry |